Not Interested
by kissesatMidNight
Summary: Ian Kabra was not interested in Amy Cahill. "YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!" Okay, scratch that, he was totally hooked. Rated T for minor swearing. One-Shot. Slightly OOC.


Ian Kabra was not interested in Amy Cahill.

The girl may have been a fairly intelligent bibliophilist and she may have had the slightest bit of sense that her inferior twit of a brother, Daniel, lacked, but Ian did not like her that way. Not at all. Nor was Ian intrigued by her mildly attractive looks. Her long dark red waves and long-lashed, jade doe-eyes may have been pleasant to look at, but they weren't enough for Ian to succumb to.

Though the girl's flaws did not outweigh her strengths, there were quite a few major ones that Ian was disgusted by.

Amy Cahill could not string together two words for the life of her, and even the slightest noises that she made were stammers and stutters, accompanied by the occasional gasp or whisper.

Furthermore, her lack of wealth was evident through the quality of her clothes and her obvious position in society. Ian would never carry a torch for someone sinking so deep into the sea of poverty.

Lastly, she was American. The television and History lessons from the best education system in London had taught him that Americans were fools who tossed perfectly good tea into water and because they were unable to afford good footwear, they wore crocs and eating disgusting fried foods from dirty places like Burger King. (Ian was losing faith in humanity.)

As you can clearly see, Ian is not the least bit interested in Amy Cahill, and never will he harbor feelings for the shy orphan.

But all that changed, with one surreal action.

* * *

"MOM! REAGAN TOOK _MY_ PINK SWEATBAND!" ten-year-old Madison Holt hollered, as she jogged towards the other side of the vast garden, where the adults were attempting to make polite conversation with each other.

Her twin sister Reagan, whom she was complaining about, bounded along, resulting in an uncivilized wrestling match between the two sorry excuses for girls.

Hamilton Holt, their thirteen-year old-brother, same as Ian, was lounging by the snack table with idiotic ninja-obsessed boppy boy, Dan Cahill, and the two were stuffing their faces with all of the finger foods that were being served.

Leaning on a nearby tree, looking like a woman with all of his "bling", was Jonah Wizard with his cap pulled low over his face, snoring happily in the shade.

The ginger-haired Starlings were flying kites a few meters away, however they seemed to be yelling mathematical equations at each other, and their kites looked rather odd. Ian did not want to be near them when their "experiment" blew up again.

Near the Starlings was Ian's sister Natalie, lazily flipping through Vogue magazine on a lounge chair, headphones on full blast with Lily Allen music.

Everybody was here. Everybody except for Amy Cahill. Ian may not have liked her, but she was probably the only other sane person other than himself here, and her presence was something he was used to at these family reunions. Frowning slightly, Ian strolled towards Amy's brother, and stared in disgust as the boy's mouth fit in more food than a whale could.

"Wha' h'you wan'?" Dan said, the food in his mouth threatening to pop out.

"Er, where is your sister, Daniel?" Ian asked, slightly uncomfortable.

Green eyes widened, and Dan gulped down all of his food, letting out a burp at the end. His burp sent both Hamilton Holt and himself into giggles. (Except Hamilton's were really manly, stupid-sounding ho-ho giggles.)

"Why? You miss her?" Dan giggled, momentarily forgetting about snacks as he relished the one time when he got to make fun of Ian instead of vice-versa.

Ian fumed quietly, not in the mood to be insulted by a boy who thought the tower of Pisa was made of pizza.

"No, you imbecile," Ian sighed exasperatedly. "I was merely wondering why the atmosphere contains less stupidity than it usually does."

"Hey!" Dan protested, licking the icing off a cupcake. There was a pause as the boy held up his finger and finished licking his icing.

When he was born the doctor accidentally dropped Dan Cahill head-first onto the floor.

That would explain his brain damage.

"My sister is really smart and stuff!" Dan snapped.

"Ian luuuurves Amy!" Hamilton guffawed, chomping on a French fry.

Suddenly the two boys burst into song: "Ian and Amy sittin' in a tree-"

_Lord, please put me out of my misery_, Ian thought, leaving the untalented choir to rot.

Ian made his way to the other end of the table where drinks had been set up. Amber eyes gazed around for the help to pour him a glass of lemonade, but as usual, they were not there.

A sigh escaped Ian's lips and Ian picked up the pitcher himself, when all of a sudden:

"OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS! IT'S LIKE AS EASY AS PYTHAGORUS THEOREM! THE RECOMBINATION RATE OF THE IONS WILL BE PROPORTIONAL TO THE ELECTRIC FIELD ATTRACTING THEM TO THE SURFACE OF THE KITE DEPENDING ON THE DENSITY OF THE IONS!WE HAVE GONE OVER THIS AT LEAST A MILLION TIMES, YOU TROGLODYTES!"

Sinead Starling nasal shriek jolted Ian, and in an uncharecteristical act of clumsiness, the pitcher fell from Ian's hands and its contents fell down the other end of the table.

"Oh!" came a soft gasp, as a drenched Amy Cahill lept to her feet. Her white tank top and baggy khaki shorts were drenched in the sticky liquid, and the back of her russet colored hair was all sticky.

"Ah, there you are!" Ian said, rubbing his hands on his together. "I was wondering about where you were, actually. And I'm sorry for the little spill, I-"

"Oh, th-that's okay," she stammered gently, slightly distracted. She didn't seem to be paying attention to him as her viridian eyes searched the ground for something, and when she found it-

"Shit!" she cried, bending down abruptly.

Ian's eyes widened, as did others in their vicinity. Nobody had ever imagined good-girl bookworm Amy Cahill would ever use such vulgar language.

Amy stood back up, her cheeks blooming, and in her hands she clutched a worn copy of Jane Eyre- a worn, _soaked_ copy of Jane Eyre. She stomped towards him, and Ian could practically hear the thunderclaps. Being a head shorter, and about as intimidating as a baby penguin, Ian was rather amused, and a smirk tugged at his lips.

She whacked him on the head with her book. "YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A _HUMAN BEING_!" she roared in a soft voice. It was rather endearing, actually.

"I would like to insult you, but with your intelligence, I doubt that you would be offended!" she spat furiously, whacking him with each and every word. "Do you want to die stupid? Seriously, you may lack two brain cells to rub together, but the rest of us would like to take part in something that enriches our brain, which we should consider ourselves lucky to have after seeing the likes of you!"

Ian was incredibly entertained.

With a final glare, she spun around and paced angrily away, muttering quietly to herself: "Doesn't even know what the word 'respect' means! Then again, doesn't know the meaning of most words!"

Everyone stared as Amy went back inside. Jonah had awoken from his nap, the Starlings, Hamilton, and Dan pauses their activities, and Natalie had taken her headphones off, and was currently laughing her made-up head off.

She had just totally humiliated him. In front of all their cousins. And called him a bunch of names.

Ian changed his mind. He _was_ interested in Amy Cahill.

* * *

**I am facing writers block right now. I hate it. My mind is on Hope/Vikram and Amian mode, when it should be on Irina mode, if that makes sense. And I want to dissect Roland Smith right now. Like, so bad. I hope he discovers that he's actually a woman overnight. Just saying. Has anyone else seen the preview of Shatterproof where Amy says, and I quote, "I hate you Ian Kabra!" **

**I just died when I read that. I think Ian's the mole. If he is I will hang myself overnight. I mean like, what if he dies, and Amy ends up with Trolliver? All because of Roland Smith? Roland...woah, I just thought of something...Roland...Trolland! Ha! Okay, not that witty...**

**Out of curiousity, is there anyone else out there that speaks Japanese?**


End file.
